My Diary

This photo represents the journey I am about to embark on.  Years ago someone close to me told me to meditate before I went to sleep.  Each time I tried this the same exact image would pop into my head.  Ironically, the above photo is the exact image that repeatedly appeared in my mind for years.  I was walking down this path alone with a backpack.  Each time I saw myself I was walking.  I had no idea where I was going or where I was coming from, but the only place to go was forward.

I often wondered what this represented for me and my life.  I wanted to know where I was headed and why I was alone.  One night I had a vivid dream.  I was walking down this very path and I stopped walking.  In my dream I put my backpack down and looked ahead as the sun rays warmed my face.  I  stood still and then I woke up.   

I came to the realization that this endeavor represents my journey.  As I walked all of those years I was cultivating my promise.  As I walked I was gathering the strength to live my dream of touching lives.  Although I have no idea where this path will lead, I feel that I am not alone anymore.  You will be by my side to help me carry this endeavor the rest of the way.  I invite you to join me on this walk. 

June 6, 2010  

I never had a diary.  The time has come to purge what I know to be my truth and share it with you.  I will tell a chronological account of some experiences that shaped who I am today.

I am the youngest of 4.  My mother had me when she was 40 and my oldest sister Debbie is 18 years older than me.  Diane is 17 years older and my brother Dominic is 10 years older.  I learned that age difference is really just a number because I am very close with my siblings.  The best way to describe my parents is the book "The Giving Tree".  My parents always gave of themselves to friends and relatives even when they had nothing to give.  I grew up surrounded by love and encouragement despite the fact that money was always a source of tension.  I learned not to ask for much and to be grateful for what I did have. Here is a picture of my 80 year old parents with all of their grandchildren!

June 8, 2010

I met my husband Nicholas in high school.  We went to Vineland High School together, but I did not actually know him until we had study hall together our senior year.  I spent my study hall laughing and talking about boys with my friend Terri.  Nick was serious and efficient.  He was very annoyed by me.  I never would have guessed that we would end up together!

I went to college and had one bad date after the next.  The summer of my freshman year Jeff Clay had a party.  Nick and I were both at the same place at the same time.  Jeff Clay was a pilot that passed away in the Kentucky flight 5191 crash in Aug. 2006.  He never knew that it was because of him that Nick and I met and began dating.  I saw Nick standing there and I said hello.  He asked me for my number.  On my way home that evening I somehow knew that he was the one for me.  I trusted him and I could tell he was genuine.  We hit it off and fell in love.